Tuesday, February 1, 2011

am i jealous?? tell me, am i jealous???? anybody?? HAHA~

everybody feels it also.. i mean, in the situation which you feel suck, useless, suffer, weaker, like nobody when your friends -classmates, roommates, bestfriends- SEEM BE BETTER THAN YOU in EVERY WAY..

haha! okay, im talking about me, here.. surely! but if there is anyone who reads this posting and feels the SAME, do not ever blame me, please.. we're just the SAME.. ;) everyone does!

yea, it's useless to lie: I HAVE EVER BEEN IN THAT FEELING..
you know, when i feel sooooo terrible, useless, suck, idiot, poor, suffer and many other BAD adjectives compared to other friends' conditions, i'll feel those ways.. :( *sigh~

and i admit it! i have ever been in~

it seems really true that Indonesian proverb -i dont really sure that it is Indonesian's proverb, but it is famous, heheh- which sounds neighbors' grass are always GREENER than ours..
yep! we always -OK! it's I.. :D- feel that i am LESS than everybody in every way.. such as, im uglier, more idiot, poorer, weaker, more useless, more terrible, I AM NOBODY!

such as, thinking that my friend has PERFECT LIFE: a good-looking and nice boyfriend, happy life, excellent parents, nice marks at campus, cool gadgets, better brain, cool friends, etc etc etc..

HAHA!! surely!! i had ever thought that way.. thinking that i was a VERY TERRIBLE PATHETIC person.. *sigh!*

how poor i was.. :((

i realize now, IT WAS TOTALLY WRONG and SUCK THINKING!! for sure..

yea, because everybody in the world is CREATED DIFFERENTLY with her/his own specialties, destinies, fates.. and nobody is created wastefully.. maybe im not good at some particular things, but I AM THE PRO AT OTHER THINGS.. :)

always like that! because God never sleeps.. God has HIS own plans for all people in the world.. God NEVER CREATES useless THINGS.. God plans everything FOR THE BEST of HIS creatures, ALWAYS.. :)

hoho! yea, i had ever been jealous.. why should i was born not as her or him? why should myself become as MYSELF now? why should my parents were MY PARENTS? why should i didnt have anything like hers or his? YEP!! many WHY questions passed through my minds in a case of REGRETTING myself.. AND IT WAS TOTALLY USELESS!! WASTEFUL THINKING!! WRONG, TERRIBLE, IDIOT!!

thanks, God for making me realize that THANKING everything happens and owns by me as YOUR divine.. thanks for guiding me to YOUR ways.. :)

thanks a bunch!! >.<

so, am i jealous??? oopppss, it is not AM I, but WAS I jealous?? YEP!! but NOT ANYMORE~
im happy being me, im thanking God for creating me and giving me such WONDERFUL life, parents, families, love, and FRIENDS like you.. :)

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Marilyn Manson 3